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1. Can we split the bill?
I was enjoying the evening with a delicious dinner, but it felt like I was pushed from a cliff at the last moment. Splitting the check is unbelievable. You had a great time with me right? Do you think that happiness is free? (51, housekeeper)
2. Can I kiss you?
Kisses should be natural. Even if we’re not dating, sure you can tell by the mood if we can kiss or not. Why would you ask if we can kiss? And that face they make when they ask is so gross. (33, office worker)
3. Stop gozaru~!!
(Note: gozaru is archaic Japanese, used when samurai still roamed the lands)
I was playing around poking his sides, when suddenly he said “s, s, stop gozaru~!” What the hell is up with “gozaru.” Are you from the Edo Period? On top of that we were at the Shinjuku train station. So embarrassing. (22, college student)
4. OMG, my coupon’s missing!
My boyfriend took me to a fancy restaurant, said that he’d take care of the bill. But when the bill came, he said “what?! My coupon’s gone!” Supposedly he printed out a coupon, but he lost it so the waiter let out an uneasy laugh. He kept repeating “It’s gone!! What do I do!? It’s gone!!” (26, office worker)
5. Whaaat! I want to see your place~
The moment they find out I live alone, all men are eager to come visit. Such perverts. (29, part-time worker)
6. I’ll get this for you next time
I asked him to buy it because I want it now. Why he says “next time” is beyond me. (37, office worker)
7. I’m Mickey! Nice to meet you!
He doesn’t sound anything like Mickey, but he keeps saying “I’m Mickey, nice to meet you! I’m Mickey, I’m Mickey!” while he sneaks into bed sheets. It’s creepy, and above all I started to think that maybe he’s an idiot. (20, college student)
Online reactions on Japanese sites:
She wouldn’t mind getting puched if he was handsome
I swear, these articles are deliberately trying to make us laugh now
Failure to launch!
This would be creepy even between guys
Stop gozaru… WTF?
It’d be creepier if a guy wanted to visit your place without being a perv. What other reason is there, does he want to set the place on fire?
Shut up and take off your clothes
So scary gozaru
If you don’t like it, dump them. Don’t force it
(´・ω・｀) I want to date a stop gozaru
I totally agree with #1, but 51 years old lol
Let’s sexy time